Bad Dream

Last night I had a dream that Larry loaded Lauren Kate and Gibson into the Camry and then we got onto Marta to go where we needed to go. He thought I was going to drive them home and I thought he was going to drive them home. Somehow in our selfishness to do something alone together, we forgot about the kids! Gracy seemed to be missing from this dream. I was trying to call the preschool (where we left them in the parking lot), when it hit me that they just might die from the heat if I can't get to them. I started panicking and desperately trying to call. My new touch screen phone was not cooperating. I woke up sweating and almost crying and quickly went to check on my kids.

As I was thinking about my dream today, I realized that it is linked to our upcoming cruise to the Bahamas. I am feeling very nervous and selfish about leaving the kids behind. Especially Gracy whom I feel needs me and only me so desperately right now. She needs me to nurse, to cuddle and to comfort. So it sounds ridiculous to say that I am sacrificing to go on a cruise, but that is exactly how I feel. I know that it is vitally important that Larry and I get time away together alone, and more importantly that I give my husband priority. I don't want to lose my marriage in the process of raising kids.

So I am just going to pray. Pray that my kids will have fun with Grandma while I am gone. Pray that my mom will survive, and pray that Larry and I will have a fun relaxing time together!